


Hospitality

by tinkertoysdamn



Series: Mirror Fluff [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Mirror Universe
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Murder, death by bubble bath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkertoysdamn/pseuds/tinkertoysdamn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to “Pink Hearts, Candy Grams and Other Missives of Terror.”   Some situations require a more “innocuous” approach.  That’s why Kirk hired Dr. McCoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hospitality

Kirk wanted Admiral Utali dead. The man was a relic, unable to understand the dynamics of control. Yes, terror was essential, but sometimes finesse was needed. Kirk was hardly a merciful man but he understood this at least.

The Enterprise was assigned to a small colony near the outskirts of New Vulcan. The colony had been falling behind in production and Admiral Utali wanted them punished. The problem was this: the colonists weren’t being lazy they were just too busy vomiting their own blood.

After hearing the symptoms, Dr. McCoy had concluded that it was, in fact, highly curable and that the colonists could be back on their feet and pumping out dilithium within weeks. Kirk trusted his CMO’s judgment and presented a request for the required medication from Admiral Utali. 

Admiral Utali refused. He stated some bullshit reason about using the colony as an example but Kirk knew the truth. The admiral was a man who lacked foresight. He didn’t understand that the colony’s dilithium far outweighed the costs of medication and that these were Imperial citizens. 

Kirk was not a merciful man, but he was a smart man. A colony or planet would not stay within the Empire if they didn’t receive perks. That was part of the deal, join the Empire and receive certain privileges. Don’t join the Empire and get blown to kingdom come. 

This colony had faithfully served the Empire for years. To destroy them would send a message to other planets that their loyalty was worthless. Kirk was not about to start a galaxy-wide rebellion because one admiral had their head up their ass.

Luckily, Admiral Utali was boarding the Enterprise to witness the operation. Unfortunately, Kirk couldn’t kill the man himself. The death had to look accidental and that was not Kirk’s forte.

The one man on the Enterprise who could do it was not one to kill willy-nilly. No, he had to have a damn good reason that made sense in his own strange morality. It was a good thing for Kirk that he had roomed with this man for one year at the Academy.

Kirk strolled into sickbay, pushing all thoughts of Utali’s head on a pike to the side. He had to be as cheerful as possible or this was not going to work. “Hello, Bones.”

Dr. Leonard McCoy looked up from the cast he was signing and grinned. “Jim, haven’t seen you for a while. Taking care of yourself?”

“Yes, can I talk to you for a moment?” Kirk asked.

“Sure.” McCoy handed his pen over to Nurse Chapel. “Make sure everyone here signs the ensign’s cast.” He patted the terrified engineering ensign on the shoulder before leading Kirk to his office.

As the door closed, McCoy leaned against his desk and looked expectantly at his captain. “What can I do for you?”

Kirk took a seat. “Admiral Utali is joining us in two days.”

“To see the colony?” McCoy opened a small refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of juice. “Want something to drink, Jim?”

“No, thanks.” Jim waved the offer. “He’s very interested in our operating procedure. You know that he denied the request for medication?”

The drink glass stilled. McCoy set the glass down and licked at his lip. “Really?” 

Kirk had him hooked. “Apparently the admiral doesn’t see eye to eye with us regarding this unfortunate situation.” 

“Well, that’s too bad.” Then the doctor suddenly smiled. It was a look that set Kirk’s teeth on edge. It was the same look that McCoy had when he had told Jim that someone had said something rude about that lovely Miss Galia in his computer class. When they found the poor bastard he couldn’t remember his own name, let alone anything that Starfleet had taught him. Kirk hoped to god he was never on the receiving end of Bones’ unique talents.

“Why don’t I get the admiral’s room ready for him? You know I make a mean hospitality basket,” McCoy offered. 

“Why don’t you do that?’ Kirk said. “I’ve got work to do but if you need anything for Utali’s room—“

That unnerving grin was still on McCoy’s face. “I’ll let you know.”

\--------

It was two days later when the admiral arrived. After a tour of the ship and fulfilling all the duties expected of him, Utali retired to his room. Sitting on the desk was a sealed basket. 

He used his tricorder to scan it, the food was safe and the other contents were not poisoned. Admiral Utali nodded in satisfaction and ripped into the plastic enshrouded goodies. 

He consumed the food and drank the liquor inside without any ill effects. He sniffed the scents provided and found them most pleasing. Finally relaxing, he let the weariness of the long journey catch up with him and he drew a bath.

This was what sealed his doom. 

Admiral Utali was part of a species with a unique chemical structure in the sebaceous glands. What he did not know what that the innocuous, never been opened, never been tampered with bathing products were full of natural ingredients that reacted to his unique sweat glands,

So as he eased his body into the warm water, the scented bath oil leached onto his skin and sealed his pores. The longer he sat, the tighter the pores closed. When he ducked his head under the water to enjoy the luxury of warmth, he sealed the pores in his face as well.

As he relaxed, the worries of the day seeping from him, his body was poisoning itself. Admiral Utali was dead before morning with the fresh scent of lemon verbena clinging to his skin. 

\--------

The inquiry was quick and perfunctory. The Empire concluded that the death was an accident and Kirk shuffled off his request for the colony to Admiral Pike. It was granted without trouble.

Dr. McCoy’s only reaction to the whole affair was a shake of the head and a clicking of the tongue. “Poor man. Guess he should have read the label.”


End file.
